Alien Invasion…

DLR / Tech / / 0 Comments

dave-globeA couple of subjects. They do relate although initially they may not seem like it.

I want to deal with the issue of sensitivity though historically, I have been dramatically insensitive as a means of drawing attention to those who are overly sensitive. I am sensitive and I feel that I’ve seen something that would bear a sensitive comment. There’s a documentary that you can now see on YouTube in regards to an island that is flooding– Vanuatu or Micronesia or some such. They followed around the tribespeople as they’ve done in New Guinea and the Amazon. These indigenous folks, at one point in history, were cannibals.

As a means of a linear historical documentary, they had a Millennial pair up with a great-grandfather (one of the oldsters). To me, he looked like he was in his 80’s. The great-grandfather taught him the ancient ways: building a canoe, crafting tiki, cooking, etc. Seemingly it was impromptu, the young fella who spoke English, asked the great-grandfather, “When are you going to teach me about cannibalism?” The old man laughed and put it off for a while. The young man coaxed it out of him until the old man said, “I’ll demonstrate as opposed to describing.” The kid was joking around and asked, “How would I find dinner?” The man said, “Come I will show you.” They went and hid to the side of a path outside the village. (This was all carefully filmed.) They sat in the bushes. One of the village women came walking by in a mufti and a wrap around her head, a larger woman. The kid says, “Should we grab this one?” The old man laughs and says, “You’ll have a heart attack before you’re 50. That’s not the way you go.” Another woman comes walking down the path, normal size. Kid says, “Would you have grabbed this one?” Man says, “No, there’s no meat on her bones.” Right behind her was one of the production assistants clearly there for the documentary. She was a hot number, like a Naomi Campbell, and the kid says, “Would you have eaten her?” The old man says to the boy, “No, this one we would take home and then we would eat mom.”

There are so many sub-groups that you cannot be insensitive toward. I felt this might have been one that I could describe. Sensitive people are already pulling out there hammer and tongs for even relaying something to you that I have seen or… may have seen. This compels an even greater question. A lot of folks are talking about climate change and global warming. (It’s just a matter of minutes before the polar bears are knocking on your kitchen window looking for a handout.) I think that there are even greater consternations heading our way. I, of course, am talking about an alien invasion.

My old friend Art Buchwald wrote about this when I was 13. I think the subject is even more poignant today and I’d like to remix it. It all falls under the empirical umbrella of sensitivity. Empathy is what separates us from other animals… I think. We think. I do have a few concerns because clearly extraterrestrial, superior intelligence isn’t going to just land in the parking lot. More importantly, it’s going to land in our schools and playgrounds. I got nothing against little green men. I think interaction and contact is healthy, especially for the kids. I do have concerns. If a superior intelligence is able to levitate, do you really want your little girl running against that being in track & field at school? I say it’s an unfair advantage. You want your son getting plowed over on the football field by little purple kids who have harnessed the power of the sun and can travel at light speed? I’m just saying… think about it. I say it might be a little unfair and there needs to be structure. If we let it continue unattended before you know it the whole goddamned basketball team is going to be green. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Dave, the Incredible Hulk is green.” Yeah, yeah… but he’s in show business.


Postscript: I thought I’d be able to attack both of these sub-groups insensitively and have a field day to at least compel some questions towards the super sensitivity that seems to govern a lot of our blogging and internetting and websiting, etc. I thought I was on safe ground attacking cannibals and little green men. At least until this morning when I received a very angry email from attorneys representing the Incredible Hulk…

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